Something about 20-Somethings

I have a request, as a young adult: If you are not a young adult, please quit writing about young adults.

Much has been written lately about the 20-somethings (See the August New York Times magazine piece What Is It About the 20-Somethings?) Some of it is undeniably true. Much of it is a matter of perspective. (Do the Boomers who are writing this stuff really understand my generation?) Most of it is not flattering. As one blogger recently noted, "After all, based on all available evidence, Millennials are the most obnoxious, self-entitled, lazy, and willfully ignorant generation to ever pollute the surface of the earth." (You can read the rest here.) And more discussion here. Even the article Why Bashing Millennials is Wrong, which shows the positive side to characteristics otherwise considered negative, identifies Millennials as entitled -- the "poodles of humanity."

While there seem to be a few rational voices out there (20-somethings, by the way) such as this one, who point to the "delayed adolescence" as being more about the economy than maturity, the whole concept of not being an adult because we don't settle into a "real job," get married, buy a house and have a family is asinine. I know plenty of immature Boomers who own houses and have spouses (and former spouses!) who get to keep their adult card, despite being more "adolescent" than most of my friends who are 20-something.

The "religious" responses haven't been tremendously kind either. As I read the title of this blog post about Evangelizing Young Adults , I found myself holding my breath. It seems most of what is being written about Young Adults in the Church either bemoans them as the Missing Generation or, when presenting a legitimate issue separating young adults from the Church, garners comments inciting Millennials to "grow up" and quit being dissenters.

A couple of considerations:
First, the National Study of Youth and Religion and follow up research claims that the best indicator of the faith of an adolescent is the faith of the parents. If adolescents (who have moved into "emerging adulthood" are ascribing to a belief system characterized by researchers as Moralistic Therapeutic Deism, guess what the parents likely believe? Also, this NCR article notes that nearly half of Catholics who are now unaffiliated left the Church prior to age 18. So, really, who do you think made that decision? Exactly how does a "gradual drifting away" work for someone who hasn't been alive long enough to accomplish what used to be considered reaching adulthood? I wasn't raised Catholic, but I seem to recall the words, "As long as you're living under this roof..." being expressed more than once.

I'm not placing the blame on entirely on the parents. As young adults, we certainly have to make a choice to own the faith; however, bemoaning all the faults of the Millennial generation certainly does not bring us to Mass on Sunday, nor does writing off our legitimate issues with Church teaching as mere immaturity. In fact, the broad strokes used to describe my generation as lazy, distracted, uncommitted and lacking faith creates bigger problems than it solves. It is frustrating to those, like me, who are engaged in the Church, and it makes me feel like there is no place for me here. When I'm struggling to have my own voice heard, to have my own spiritual needs met, to feel that I belong...to what would I be inviting my peers? The decline in Mass attendance is caused by an absence greater than my generation. The lack of knowledge and understanding of Church teachings began before we were born. It's not a young adult problem; it's a Church problem. Maybe we can be part of the solution, if there's room for us at the table.

The truth is we have many gifts. We are innovative. We are creative. We understand how to build community and what it means to be "universal." We are committed to service, the "delay" of a "real job" often caused by committing a year or more to service to the poor, vulnerable, or under-resourced. We're intelligent, and we're making a difference. Yeah, we've got our issues, but who doesn't?

You want to know why young adults aren't in the pews? Try asking us, when you're ready to listen. Let us be part of the conversation and we might find a solution. And stop talking about us like we're not here.

The views expressed in this blog are mine alone and do not necessarily reflect the views of my employer.

When Professional Development gets Personal

I'm spending the week at Notre Dame, attending the Young Adult Ministry Symposium, "Stewards of the Treasures of our Faith." It's a gathering of campus ministers, vocation directors, and others who work in young adult ministry, discussing how to connect young adults to liturgy, prayer, vocation and service. I can't even remember how I first came to know about it -- it was sometime after LA Congress -- but I remember thinking, This is what Lalanne is about.

So why am I passionate about young adult ministry? Because I'm a young adult. Because it makes me sad that I worked so hard to come into the Catholic Church -- I'm Catholic and I love being Catholic -- yet sometimes I wonder if there is a place in this Church for me. I've been fortunate to, more or less, find ways to feed my soul. It's not perfect, and I often find myself hungering for more, but... I'm still being nourished. What if, though, I hadn't been so determined in my faith? Then what? I have certainly had the experience of feeling unwanted, unimportant, unwelcome...what if that had been my only experience?

Sometimes I wonder why I bothered to become Catholic. The scandal and the hurt within the Church is sometimes so overwhelming that I think, This? I went through all of that for this? Clearly, the Church is challenged and broken. It's a confusing, heartbreaking, unfathomable time. I struggle to make sense of the terrible, criminal things that have transpired, while still clinging to faith that God is in here somewhere. God must be. But where?

I came to Notre Dame thinking I'd learn a few things about bridging from campus ministry to parish ministry, and how to help other young adults make that transition. I thought I'd get some pointers on connecting to liturgy and prayer, which would help me in developing the faith sharing and prayer resources that I share with the teachers. I thought I'd be able to network with other people committed to working with young adults. What I didn't expect is to have my own journey, my own young adult faith, my own struggles with the Church, my own experience with the sacred challenged and affirmed, my questions asked and answered.

I hope to be able to share more as I reflect and process the images and challenges that have been shared, but something from tonight's "spiritual renewal" seems to summarily gather some of my thoughts.

There are cracks in everything. That's how the light gets through.

There are, indeed, cracks in everything. Even in the Church. Let the Light shine.