Next month, I will be making my 9th move in 7 years. (Yes, you read that correctly, and yes, that works out to moving more than once a year. Trust me, I know it's insanity.) Since this move also includes the anticipation of blending households as a result of the upcoming nuptials (and because I kinda made a big deal over Love of My Life unloading some of his... well... stuff... before moving in), I busted out the boxes that I've moved four times without as much as peeking inside of them. It's time to let go of some things.
It's been an oddly amusing trek down memory lane. I've found textbooks that I should've sold back when I could still get some money for them (Why did I ever think I should hold on to the History of Education text?!), articles that I used for research during my undergrad (Anything you want to know about Gifted Education, IDEA '97, or the value of homework, circa 2003, I've got you covered.), notes from class (complete with funny side conversations... And I'm finding these terribly difficult to unload!), papers I wrote (Dang! I was smart once upon a time!), and tons and tons and tons of lesson plans, unit plans, and teaching resources (for which I would like to find a good home.)
I've also found my journals, poetry, and writing folders. From about 1995 forward. If you do the math, you'll realize that's snippets of what was going on in my brain for more than half of my life. I've always been a writer, and I've always written with a very irregular ebb and flow. There are journal entries that are once (and sometimes, twice) a day for weeks on end and then nothing for months. There are pieces of stories, lines of poetry, words I liked, descriptions, and scribbled notes about how frustrated I was with the process of writing.
Tucked in a folder with some character sketches and plot outlines, I found this. It's not dated, but everything else in the folder is from about my junior/senior years of high school. I know I didn't write it, originally, -- it doesn't sound like me. A quick Google search revealed that it is, in fact, very popular, though I didn't nail down a source. Reading it now -- 10ish years later -- knowing what I know, being where I've been, seeing what I've seen -- it makes me smile. The manifesto of a generation? Perhaps. I have no idea what I was thinking when I wrote it down.
Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, to teach you a lesson or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be, possibly your roommate, neighbor, coworker, long lost friend, lover or even a complete stranger, but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way.
And sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful and unfair at first, but in reflection, you find that, without overcoming those obstacles, you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower or heart. Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good luck. Illness, injury, love lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limist of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless.
The people you meet who affect your life and the success and downfalls you experience, help to create woh you are and who you become. Even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones. If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious when you open your heart.
If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because, in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things.
Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again.
Talk to people that you have never talked to before and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free and set your sights high.
Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, it will be hard for others to believe in you.
You can make your life anything you wish. Create your own life and then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets.
Most importantly, if you love someone, tell him or her, for you never know what tomorrow may have in store.
And learn a lesson in each day that you live.
(More journal adventures to come, I'm sure.)
Thursday
10 hours ago
