Parish Shopping, redux

As previously noted, I have been church shopping. An interesting adventure, that. I was tempted to blog about each of the parishes I visited, documenting what I saw, heard, felt as a visitor to each community. However, as I can be overly critical about matters liturgical (okay, fine. I can be overly critical about everything), I felt that could be interpreted as inappropriate and hurtful. (Of course, that would require having readers…)

I did blog about my experience at one parish, and while the first encounter certainly seemed grace-filled, I wasn’t sold. I did, indeed, return, and it was, again, a comfortable experience. Joyful, even. But I wasn’t sold. I had yet to walk into a parish and think, “Yes. This is it. This is where I feel most at home.”

And then a puzzling phenomena occurred. Articles and blog posts about church shopping started popping up like dandelions on an abandoned lot in May. It started with Busted Halo. Then, Amy Welborn posted not about parish shopping, but about her “Month of Sundays.” Even the National Catholic Reporter featured an article in the “Young Voices” column about “Finding home,” where the author details the challenges of finding a spiritual home and community.

Perhaps I’m placing too much emphasis on this phenomena. Maybe I’m too “mystical” about matters. But it seems to me that e-articles might be the new handwriting on the wall, and blog posts are replacing burning bushes. It is difficult to believe that God is NOT trying to get my attention when the very matters of my heart are suddenly the very subject of my reading routine. THREE posts show up, beginning on Thursday, with the last being posted on Sunday? It’s at least worth a second consideration. Superstitious or not, I pay attention to these things.

The gist of the articles/blog posts were to not get caught up in the small details, no parish is perfect, prioritize what qualities are being sought, etc. etc. etc. Nothing I didn’t know or hadn’t done.

So what am I looking for? I want to find the community where I best encounter Christ – where Eucharist is a verb; an animator of the Gospel message. I want a parish where people love Jesus, even when it’s hard and confusing and they don’t feel like their prayers being heard beyond the rafters. I want a community where people come as they are, bringing their messy lives and placing them on the altar as holy sacrifices in this beautiful chaos we call life, because that’s what they have to offer. I want a parish where people help others to pick up their lives again, and carry them back out into the world, mindful that we are all in this together.

I want a place where I can fall in love with God again and again. I want a community that will encourage me to continue to seek God’s grace in my day to day living, and to remind me that Christ is present, even in the mundane tasks of day-to-day living. Especially in the day-to-day business of living. I want a parish that will nourish my hungry soul, and help fill me to overflowing with love for God, for God’s work.

Beyond that, I want a place where I can use my gifts, and figure out the gifts that I don’t even know I have. I want to be involved. No, really. I do.

So does this place exist? I don’t know. I haven’t found it yet, if it does. Is it idealistic? Probably. I may not ever find this place. I hope to find some place close.

Amy Welborn’s closing thoughts, in many ways, summarized what I want. She writes, “I followed God around a small bit of his world, and he followed me. Never abandoned, never alone, able to pick out words of hope and truth no matter what the language, challenged to think bigger, to dig more deeply for others, joining in the sacrifice of praise, voiced in many languages, but really only one.”

I want to find the place where I am able to pick out the words of hope and truth, in a community of people who also are seeking hope and truth. I want to be challenged to think bigger, to dig deeper.

** So I've spent a week trying to "finish" this blog...and I can't find an end. I realized today that this is appropriate, because I haven't found what it is I seek. Stay tuned...