When the Path is Deceptive...

You've all seen these road signs. The yellow ones with the curving arrow, accompanied by a speed limit to warn drivers to slow down before taking the exit ramp from the interstate. Perhaps you have had the experience, as I have, of thinking, "Enh. It doesn't look that bad. I can take this faster than 25 mph." And then, as you attempt the curve at 40 mph, you find yourself struggling for control. (Okay, maybe that's just my driving...)

That's kind of how life has been lately. I knew some things were coming, and it wasn't until I found myself careening into said circumstances that I realized just how difficult it was going to be. I'm still struggling to regain balance. As I read somewhere recently, I'm better than I was, but not quite so good as I was before I got worse.

It's been interesting to be in such a place during the season of Advent. Okay, really, it's been annoying at times... All this talk of waiting in anticipation, and redemption being at hand, and you suffer now, but the promise is coming. I really just want to say, "Enough already! Let's get on with the redemption!" But when the impatience subsides, it is good to be reminded that this is only temporary. We are promised Christ, the Messiah, and He has overcome the world! And this is what Advent is about... waiting, preparing, anticipating...

O Key of David and Scepter of the House of Israel; you open and no man closes; you close and no man opens. Come, and deliver from the chains of prison those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death.

Putting it all in perspective...

I received word on Monday that my request for a Declaration of Nullity was with a judge. This is a big deal. I started the process in October of 2007, completed my paperwork in May of 2008, and I'm anxiously awaiting a decision -- mostly because I want to be able to close that chapter of my life, so I can move into the next fully and without hinderance. Overall, the process has been rough, with unnecessary delays that have thrown me into all out rage. Hearing that the case was finally in the hands of a judge sent simultaneous tremors of joy and pangs of anxiety straight through me. I reviewed in my head the things I remembered writing; I tried to imagine the words of my witnesses. Most of all, I prayed the judge was a speedy reader.

And then God put things back in perspective.

I was reminded that yesterday was the two year anniversary of the Bluffton baseball team's bus crash in Atlanta. I graduated from high school with the older brother of one of the players who was killed. His dad works at the school where I did my student teaching, and where I taught summer school. I'm pretty sure I never actually met the kid, but I knew who he was. He was filled with passion and a love of life.

Today is the five year anniversary of the death of the mother of someone I went to high school with. We went to the same church, too. His mother was murdered by a co-worker. I didn't know her well, but she was amazingly joy-filled and enthusiastic.

Juxtaposed with these tragic anniversaries are the exhausted tales of one friend, rediscovering the world through the life of her newborn son. Another is anxiously awaiting the debut of her little "chili pepper", and yet another is excited to learn the gender of her baby, due in September.

God puts it all in perspective.

I got an e-mail today that included the following message: I marvel at the people that God puts in our lives, some for five minutes, some for five years, some for life; regardless, I marvel at how many wonderful people are out there and how many of them I have been fortunate enough to have impact my life.

Indeed.

"Life is lumpy. But a lump in the oatmeal -- a lump in the throat -- and a lump in the breast -- are not the same lump. We should learn to know the difference." (from All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten by Robert Fulghum)